​TIPS FOR HANDLING A BULLY

-April 4th, 2019-

By: Sherry Ellen

    “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”
                                                                                                                                                                                           - Harvey Fierstein 
Rumors, gossiping, threats, teasing, name-calling, hitting, are all fine examples of bullying that we witness at school everyday. Whether, you are the victim of bullying or if you know someone that is being bullied at school, you are not alone. I’m sharing with you today a few tips to try to keep in mind when  being faced with this type of uncalled for brutality. ​
  1. Be Bold, Brave, Smart, and Safe It’s ok to feel scared or threatened when seeing a bully or being bullied; telling someone at school or a trusted adult is the right thing to do. Teacher, parent, principal, etc.
  2.  Bring the Abuse to Someone's Attention Ignoring it sounds like an easy fix, though sometimes bullies can be like a dog with a bone and just won’t let go. Regardless of what you might think, you do not deserve to be abused, and should bring the bullying to the attention of someone to help. 
  3. If You Can, Leave the Situation Especially if there is more than one threat, sometimes it’s best to remove yourself from the equation. You do not have to endure the bullying. There's no shame in removing yourself from the threat. 
  4. Refuse to Participate Sometimes that’s what bullies want is a reaction, try not to give them what they want. Starve them of their ego. If you hear someone else bullying a friend, or someone that isn’t there to defend them self’s, shut that behavior down. Suggest if they have a problem with that person, to take it up with them rather than behind their back.
  5. Respond with Kindness Remember that the bully you have, may have a bully of their own. You’d be surprised what understanding and compassion can do. It sounds cliche, but this has been proven time and time again.
  6. Stop Being a Victim Don’t give into their attempts to tear you down, if they’re making jokes at your expense, or you do something embarrassing with them around, laugh along with them. If they say rude things, ignore them. When bullies stop getting a rise out of you, it takes the fun out of it for them.
  7. Add an Unbiased Third-Party Try to keep your cool and get to the bottom of the situation without being confrontational. If they get aggressive with you, at least you now have a witness or someone to shut down the situation.
  8. Stand Up to Them If you think this is a situation you can handle yourself, confront the person directly. Keep calm, but tell them you don’t feel comfortable with the way they’ve treated you or someone else. Don’t attack them, but do cite specific details of their behavior and how it was inappropriate and hurtful.
  9. Don't Withdraw Don’t ignore your family, friends, and life. Common responses when being bullied is to shut down, isolate, or self medicate. It’s important to let people who love you know what’s going on, especially if you suffer from depression and/or anxiety and are more apt to engage in self-destructive behaviors. People that love you are there for support , let them be there for you.
  10. Remember Your Bully Does Not Represent Everyone Just because one person says mean and nasty things about you doesn’t mean it’s true, and it doesn’t mean that’s what everyone else thinks of you. What one damaged individual has to say about you has absolutely nothing to do with how the rest of the world values you. It’s easy to think that way when you’re targeted, but nothing can be further from the truth.

    And Always Remember;
       You are loved & valued deeply.